Eden Moments

by Janel Guevara

From the Archives
Originally Published in March 2005

I had gone out to pray. The wind whipped through my hair as I stood facing the rolling waters of the Gulf of Mexico. An endless horizon that spoke of twilight, stretched before me. Somewhere behind me a lone gull called. I felt the sand in my toes and the surf on my feet while I danced in the water hoping to hear God’s voice.

The air was perfumed with the fragrance of salt. The Lord is like these mighty rushing waters echoed in my mind. For just a moment, I felt the Lord’s presence more keenly than I ever had before. It was as though time stood still and I was embraced in the perfect peace and presence of God.

When Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble,” he wasn’t joking.

I’ve watched loved ones throw their lives out the window. I’ve pitched a few pieces of my own too, only to scurry down the stairs after them, picking up the shards. I’ve lived through painful situations at church and in my personal relationships. I’ve watched loved ones lose people dear to them years before they should have. And I’ve had more than one friend look me in the eye and ask through tears, “Why? Why did God let this happen?”

Life is painful. Sometimes you can make sense of it, other time, no one knows. It’s the Eden Moments that keep me going when I’m down to my last drop of hope.

What’s an Eden Moment? you might wonder. To me, an Eden Moment is a precious glimpse at Divine perfection. It’s hard to describe because each is unique. But Eden Moments have one thing in common: You feel suspended out of time, if only for a moment, embraced in the perfect presence of the Great I AM. I see them as the essence of Ecclesiastes 3:11... a taste of eternity which God has set in our hearts along with the time and season for all things.

Eden Moments bear testimony to love, grace and the truth that our hope is still a reality, even in this sin scarred world where thorns, thistles, and trouble cloud the path leading in eternity’s direction. They are a taste of what's to come. These are moments that escape the ache of sin and great vexation of the soul. We get a taste of what Adam and Eve must have left behind. They are places in time, where it stands still and you know without a doubt, you communed face to face with the Sovereign of the Universe and felt His all encompassing presence. It’s a kiss from God Himself.

The last few years of my life seem like they’ve been especially trying. Ultimately, I know God is sovereign. He’s growing me spiritually to trust Him more and it's all going to be OK in the end. But being human, I've been up & down and back & forth—trusting one minute and being fretful the next.

My children often pick up on my distress. They feel the tension even if they don't know what it is. They don't talk about the confusion, they just fight and bicker with each other instead. It's exhausting.

Recently, I needed a break from motherhood. I decided to go grocery shopping, alone. I cranked up my Revival in Belfast CD after I opened all the windows and headed up the interstate. With the wind blowing my hair, there was freedom. It was almost like being back on the gulf coast. My fifteen-minute trip ended all too soon.

Only in Your will am I free… Rang in my ears as I sat in 6 o’clock, downtown, traffic waiting to turn into the grocery store parking lot. For just a moment, I felt removed from time. It was surreal, like one of those fuzzy, slow motion, black and white films you see played in movies reminiscing about someone’s past. I heard the thumping and bumping bass from another car. I heard people laughing nearby.

I watched the sights and sounds and was amazed that God took in all of it. Every ounce, every tear, every worry, every laugh, every thump, bump, and bass note. There I was sitting in the midst of a miracle, completely in awe. Eden had struck again.

When I went out that evening, God knew I was looking for Him. I longed for His presence. And yet, He visits me everyday and sees the laughter and tears of my children and knows my fears. But sometimes I don’t see Him, even though I’ve opened my Bible and said my prayers.

He watched that very afternoon as I calmly explained to one of my children, for the fifth (fiftieth?) time that week, why they shouldn't get angry at their sibling when they're upset about something else. It was the same lesson, again and again. I was discouraged, and yet still hopeful God would resolve the situations that made me get upset with the wrong person.

I read Scripture. I trusted His word, but I was tired of the battles. Yet that evening, He brought me out and reminded me that He has all my troubles, and so much more, under control. I just needed to look around.

Sometimes I would love to download Eden Moments onto my computer so I could reply them like old movies. They don’t work that way though. God meets us during different times, needs and seasons. If we seek after them, they often evade us because we’re looking for a work of God and not God himself. We can’t make them happen. We can’t seek them. We can only let God meet us as we seek HIM.

I'm still a believer that God keep His promises and leads us. I still stand strong in faith one moment, and waver the next. I still pray and watch the answers to my prayers unfold. I still seek to know the truth.

But I also know that when I’m down to my last ounce of hope, God will show up and speak to me like He did on that night at the gulf coast years ago or in the van a few weeks ago. I hold those perfect moments as proof He is teaching me what I believe really is true.

And if an Eden Moment is a taste of eternity, what an amazing experience awaits.

Ὧ