Hello Letter: September 2026... Living Well

Hello Dear Ones,

I don’t know about you, but for longer than I’m willing to confess, I have wrestled with judging pop culture celebrities. As a child, the adults in my life openly criticized politicians, news anchors and current events, movie stars, co-workers, extended family, and anyone else who crossed their path that disagreed with or disappointed them for one reason or another. It was as normal as breathing, happened a dozen times a day and probably twice as much on Sunday. Since it was all I knew, it never occurred to me that type of behavior might be problematic… especially in a Christian family.

When I became an adult, I, too, put on my “holier than thou” britches and pointed out character flaws, behavioral issues, and inconsistencies in others. I told myself I was only “discerning” what I saw and wanted to help fix the issue by mentioning it. Unlike the adults in my childhood, I tried to be nice when I said something because I wanted to be more loving. I only stopped sharing my observations aloud when I mentioned harmful behaviors I noticed in my ex-husband and he would become unhinged in ways that silenced me with fear.

I spent years of my adult life quietly worrying if I lived up to “God’s standards.” There was a laundry list of things I was sure disappointed Him. Feeling like a failure, I’d secretly jump to conclusions about other people’s faith and choices based on what I noted with my own life. I told myself that saying nothing and praying was the “godly” solution.

My observations about the behaviors and choices I saw in celebrities, because of their influence on the public, made me frustrated enough to stop consuming commercial media. I buried myself so deeply in the Christian blog-o-sphere that I almost didn’t find my way out. It was an unexpected slap when the “influencers” started blowing up the news with scandals, abuse allegations, and walking away from the faith. Yikes. What a wake up call!

Then, in the last fifteen years, my own life imploded. I divorced after more than twenty years of marriage to a man living an adulterous, double life—hiding in plain sight—while he chastised me for not being “more Christian.” I watched the fallout from that toxic relationship destroy the innocent parts of my children. Then, clinging to what little faith I had left, I accidentally landed in the path of the very different man. One whose faith seamlessly integrated into everyday life and surprised me with his observations.

With my background and decades old, love-hate relationship with celebrities, I was astonished when I found myself openly weeping at the news of Dolly Parton’s death. After I came up for air, I chuckled because God had laid it on my heart to write about grief last month.

Although my recollection is hazy, my grandmother didn’t have any fond affection for her, but I suspect that’s because my grandfather found Dolly attractive. Or her music was absolutely scandalous for its time and Grandma would have spoken up against the “women’s libbers.” What I do remember is sitting with them, listening as the pretty music played on TV. I thought Dolly Parton was beautiful and she seemed really nice. Because of that, my 4-year-old self liked her a lot.

Through the years, I’ve heard others complain about women, like Dolly, who are “floozies” making “sinful choices” because they chose to be themselves, got a divorce, picked a career, or refused to be quiet about a problem. If God is up in Heaven making a list, like Santa, and checking it twice, I’d love to know who is really doing the Lord’s work. I think we’d be surprised.

Ultimately, Dolly’s relationship with God is none of our business. But her legacy? Every church in the free world should be able to testify that they have done similar: create jobs, educate children, house the needy, fund practical life saving work at home—not just soul winning crusades in foreign lands. Instead, we have to make databases of predators in the pulpit so our kids don’t get molested in Sunday School. There are no words for this backward insanity.

Too many in leadership are hiding their own immoral acts or ignoring what’s going on with others in their confidence. They continue to claim toxic dysfunction is the doctrine of “God’s plan” under the guise of “sanctification” while women in their congregations are being abuse in the name of Jesus and can’t financially afford to escape. All the while these beautiful mothers are watching their children wither before their eyes. The church is supposed to be a safe space to find help. What the heck?

If I throw in my two cents, the Church has lost the real meaning of Jesus’ life and death. When non-Christians are saying, “There is no hate like Christian love,” some is severely wrong. Yikes again. That's not the message of Jesus' prayer in John 17.

Why are we swallowing camels and straining on gnats? Arguing about theology that dozens of scholars each interpret differently, when we should be feeding the poor, protecting the children, and teaching the illiterate to read so they can find God in Scripture on their own? Do we not remember James 1? Pure religion is to care for the widows, orphans, and needy? Until recently, I had no idea how radical that concept actually is, and it’s only radical because the church dropped the ball and so few of us are doing it.

Let me be clear: not everyone is in a situation that they are able to give and do and build. That’s not a sin, it’s where God has us for now. In those times, we are the needy who require the love and support that should be freely available from others who call themselves Christian. If it’s not, we need to ask why.

For those of us who are not drowning, what are we doing to be the hands and feet of Jesus?

Yes, people make stupid mistakes. And sometimes choose to do even dumber things on purpose. God still wants us to love our neighbors as ourselves, all the time, not just when we agree with them. Yes, there is a need for accountability, but that’s different from shaming others because their choices don’t look like ours. We need to learn the difference.

I practice grace in how I look at others these days. I learned first hand that things aren’t always what they appear. God wants me to take responsibility for my own self, business, mission, calling, and ignorant choices. I honestly think He kept me away from writing for so long to learn those lessons. It’s been a difficult road. Old habits die hard, but I’ve been practicing.

The changes we need won’t happen over night. That’s why we pray God gives us to the grace to keep going, wisdom to meet our Divine Appointments, do what we’re able, and to never lose hope. Through it all, may we each find our calling and live it, like Dolly.

With love,
Janel Guevara
Editor-in-Chief and Publisher

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